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So Empty, So Alone

I’ve been going back and forth on if I should post anything about this and yet, here I am…

Earlier today, I got a notification on my tome regarding my ex (I knew I should have turned that off…). What I had feared when I was with my ex has finally came to fruition… she’s now with him. Why did she choose me and be with me so many times if she was truly unhappy? I don’t understand it. Was my feeling all a toy for her to play with? Did I mean anything to her? Am I even meant to be happy?

That’s is how I am feeling right now. I am hurting so much knowing what I was fearing all along has come to light. I’m just a toy for everyone to play with. Everyone wants to see how much they can play with my emotions before tossing me to the side into the gutter because I just don’t matter to anyone.

Today, I tried to get something started to try and meet new people, but that didn’t even go my way. I was out grinding out FATES and threw out a call to have people join me and it just went ignored. Has my name been trashed that badly? Does anyone want to even do anything with me, or am I just meant to do things on my own and be alone?

I just don’t know what to do anymore…

For the time being, I’ve returned to my room crying…

Published inAdventure

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